Thursday, 5 May 2011

Another Phegnominal Tale

Today I had another weird moment, it was really a League of Gentlemen Royston Vasey Moment when I spotted a sign about gravel, not just any gravel; Local gravel....! It appears that we now have to fear gravel rustling! The sign clearly reads ' Local Gravel for Local People'. I'm really not sure that all my gravel is entirely local, shock horror, I may be harbouring foreign gravel! How about you ? Is this an offense? How can I tell where the Gravel has come from? It's all very worrying.
I haven't posted for a few days now but I think I can be absolved after my shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day) experience. Yep, Lyn cooked Pancakes, take a look at the two vids at the end of this post.
The mysteries of the universe are unfolding before me and questions are being asked.The interesting ones are the more challenging, historical questions. Who were the Treacle thieves of Sway? Who pulled the plug out of Longslade lake? Invariably, whilst struggling to find the answers to these questions I have uncovered more hidden treasures.
On Sunday whilst exploring the inner sanctum of Wilverly Inclosure I happened to come across another 'cave'.My immediate reaction was to check for the Illustrious 'treacldii sugaraldii' (treacle plant), but it soon became evident that this cave had a different occupier.
The cave was neatly hidden beneath a large oak and it's two foot entrance was obscured by brushwood. Unfortunately I was not able to squeeze into this entrance but I could see that there were other entrances within the small cave. The most peculiar thing was the abundance of footprints around the entrance. These were not animal prints as you would expect but small child prints.
This fascinating find could give some credibility to another little known Forest legend. The original Forest dwellers were thought to have been 'little people' , in fact many real Foresters are still convinced of their existence.
Names such as 'Pixie Field' and 'Pixie Mead' were quite common around the area a hundred years ago. Odder than that was the large barrow on Beaulieu Common which was locally known as 'Pixie's Cave' , a place feared by many local inhabitants.
There are many rumours about these' little people', a lot of which are conflicting. I gather that they are shy, timid people. They range in height from 12 - 18 inches but their most phegnomenal attribute is their incredible lifespan which is usually around 400 years!
The 'little people ' are hard working , earthy characters who worship only mother nature herself. Being strict vegetarians , they love and care for all animals.
They are mainly active during the twilight hours and are easily recognised by their bright red caps. These caps form an intricate part of their uniform and require regular grooming. Their physiology is similar to ours but for certain differences, they have greater speed and strength. This is probably why they have always eluded capture by us mere mortals!
The best time to 'capture' one of the 'little people' is after a nights entertaining. This is when they are most vulnerable, if there is one thing that they love, it's a good party. The demon drink plays a large part in their lives, along with their well known love of 'pipe smoking'.
Always remember that our failure to capture these sprites of the earth has caused us to immortalize them in a more concrete fashion. How many people do you know with Gnomes in their gardens? Fishing Gnomes, pipe smoking Gnomes, or even drinking Gnomes?
I believe that the best way to catch one of 'little people' is by gate crashing one of their parties. New Forest Gnomes are reported to be very hospitable. I know where to look and I know when to look. Their impish ways and my curiosity should make an entertaining tale. Oh,to be in England when the sun shines again! Who needs Leprechauns anyway?
I'm off down the road for a Guinness now! Check out these Pics here ......

This is Lyn and Me drinking Guiness.... in the.... Guiness factory at St James's Gate, Dublin......sheer Guiness genius.......I told her it was a new Irish craft shop! And it was, they stamped your hand after every drink! Happy St Patricks day to everyone.


  1. Away with you. You sure have the gift of the gab.
    I used to have some little people in my front garden until they got nicked!
    Give my regards to Mr Tate.
    Mrs A.

  2. Ah! It's my birthday, be nice!!

  3. I have to say that the gravel dilema had me bemused ....not sure it is any clearer after visiting the web yep I actually did lol
    Maybe the 'little people'have something to do with it.

    By the By ...did you get any pancakes???